


Self-Discovery

by StabMeLikeYouMeanIt



Series: Mattie's Big Adventure [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Human & Country Names Used (Hetalia), M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Parent-Child Relationship, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Pseudo-Incest, Trans Canada (Hetalia), Trans Character, Trans Male Character, hypersexuality as a plot device, none of them are blood related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:14:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22384687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StabMeLikeYouMeanIt/pseuds/StabMeLikeYouMeanIt
Summary: Mathieu has been plagued by inappropriate thoughts of his adopted family and successfully pushing it away, but one day he gets caught in a compromising situation
Relationships: 2P America/Canada (Hetalia), America/Canada (Hetalia), Canada/France (Hetalia)
Series: Mattie's Big Adventure [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611304
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is technically the first chapter of the series known as "Mattie's Big Adventure" on my Wattpad, but on here I thought it would be better to seperate the chapters into bite-sized pieces since most parts can technically be read on their own.

It was a day like any other: Arthur was cooking at the stove in that laughable apron he insists on wearing while arguing with Alfred, the latter having broken the British man's favourite tea set by playing baseball in the house; Mathieu sat on the couch snug under a blanket, twisting his hair between his fingers as he thought, Kuma asleep on the seat next to him. The late summer sun shone through the blinds, signalling the approach of noon. "Is that good-for-nothing frog still asleep at this hour?! Alfred, go get him, breakfast is getting cold!" Arthur snapped as he pulled out a lesser tea set to decorate the table with. Huffing indignantly the blue-eyed rebel marched up the stairs, yelling only to irk his superior.

"HEY, WAKEY-WAKEY COME GET SOME EGGS AND BAKEY FRENCHIE!"

"That's no way to address your father!" Arthur chided, "And stop yelling in the house! You make enough noise as it is!" His statement soon confirmed by the loud clump of the clumsy American's footsteps coming back to the kitchen. All this Mathieu observed half-heartedly, sinking into the background as he pondered his recent dilemma. Sure, they were dysfunctional, a family only by circumstance and with the hope to blend in, but they were still a family- yet the thought kept coming back to him whenever he let his mind wander. Surely he wouldn't think himself capable of doing such a thing, however. Suddenly he was snapped out of his thought by a creak on the stairs, head whipping to see the figure moving down the stairs with the grace of an angel. Francis.

The late morning sun accentuated the indents of lean muscle that laced his body, skin of his chest glimmering through the open shirt. His long hair, usually pulled back, fell around his head lazily, messy, so unlike his composed appearance he showed to others. Silk pyjama pants hung around his hips, giving just the slightest hint of a v-line, so daintily taunting to one who noticed. This was the Frenchman in his purest form, unaltered, not his professional self. Mathieu bit his lip as he watched the man descend the stairs, suddenly grateful for his 'talent' of going unnoticed. Without thinking, his hand slid under the blanket to palm himself, imagining the shirt sliding off onto the floor, Francis would run a hand through his messy hair as he approached the younger boy, that playful grin on his lips as he pulled the blanket away. "Mathieu, _mon petit bébé_... what a naughty boy you are, doing such a thing infront of everyone... shall I-"

"Mathieu! _Viens ici!_ Aren't you going to eat?" 

Mathieu snapped up, blushing as he stowed away his fantasy and stood from the couch, "Y-yes papa!" He hurried to take his seat at the table across from Francis, keeping his gaze on the plate in front of him. How could he imagine such a thing? It wasn't right! He shouldn't think that way.... yet he couldn't help it. Lately he couldn't think about anything other than this new sensation that plagued him and practically anyone would become another image in his mind. 

"I'm going to the skate park later, Mattie wanna come?" Alfred suddenly said, looking at his younger brother, "I know you don't have any friends but that's okay, you can hang with mine!"

"Alfred! That is completely uncalled for! Apologise at once!" the frantic Brit uttered, obviously fed up with the child's back-handed compliments. Mathieu smiled, looking up at his brother,

"Oh... no, thank you. I still have some studying to do"

"Whaat?? It's summer, why're you still working?! Have some fun!"

Francis stopped between them, patting Mathieu's head affectionately, "Mathieu's just trying to get ahead, he's rushing to join your grade you know; he just wants to keep up, isn't that right?"

The touch was too much, Mathieu's throat closed up and all he could manage was a meagre nod which gained him a smile that would have melted him if not for his death grip on his own leg. Even without Alfred's so-called help, he planned to have fun.

The house was empty- Arthur and Francis were at work, Alfred was out doing who knows what under the guise of skating, the only one left was Mathieu who sat in the middle of his bed. He shared the room with his brother, but usually had it to himself with how social the other was. This time was no different, except he planned to use this quiet time for something... different.

His breath caught in his throat as he ran a hand up his shirt, ghosting over one of his nipples before resting there, too nervous to do anything else. He shimmied out of his pants long earlier, opting instead for the too-large hand-me-down shirt he got from his brother. A shaky breath escaped his lips as he leaned against the wall, his other hand rubbing along his inner thigh. 'This... this is normal, everyone does this. There's no reason to be so scared!' He tried to encourage himself, biting the neck of his shirt as he ran the hand under his boxers, gasping at the realisation of how wet he was already- the effects of that morning had lingered all day. Each touch sent new shivers down his spine, each time a new experience for him. His fingers brushed against his clit and he couldn't help but let out a mewl of pleasure. If only it was Francis touching him like this-

"Matthew?"

The boy froze at the sound of his name, timidly looking up at the doorway from the bed, eyes widening at the sight of Alfred in the door, watching him with shock and... what was that look in his eye? Amusement? "A-Alfred! I-I wasn't- I didn't... y-you- you weren't supposed to be here," he finished in a whisper, too in shock of being caught to think of moving his hands from their pleasurable spots. The other man laughed, strutting in and plopping himself down on the edge of the bed, too close for the situation. 

"Yeah I know, but the chick blew me off so I came back. Man, never thought I'd catch you jacking it!" The elder laughed again, a sleazy grin plastered on his face. "Not 'papa's little boy' anymore are ya? Hey, wanna porno mag to help?"

Mathieu flushed red at the mention of Francis, watching his brother with wide eyes. "P-please don't say such things.... Don't tell papa..." he pleaded, voice catching on 'papa' as his hand tweaked his nipple automatically, making him whimper pathetically. Alfred watched him for a second, weighing his options before walking back to the door.

"Sure Mattie, don't worry, this'll be our little secret... but you'd like it if he knew, wouldn't you?" He flashed the younger a knowing look as he locked the door, shrugging off his letterman jacket. "You like that, huh Mattie? I can keep a secret... though this is your first time trying that, yeah?" By this point he had returned to the bed, seating himself infront of his brother. "How about I help you?"

Mathieu couldn't even think of a response, mouth opening and closing as he tried to come up with something to say. Suddenly his hand was replaced with his brother's, gently cupping his small chest. He gasped, "A-Alfie..?" That was all he could manage before his shirt was removed, exposing his body fully. Though there was only three years between them, they looked quite different- while his brother was strong, looking like a movie hero, he was a short chubby boy. Alfred leaned in and kissed the exposed flesh.

"Don't worry about a thing Mattie, I'll help you feel good." He chuckled, licking the pert nipple presented to him as he pinched the other. Mathieu squirmed, unaccustomed to such pleasurable feelings. He gripped the sheet with one hand, his other resuming it's journey across his folds, making short brushes against his clit before his wrist was grabbed. "Not yet, don't touch yourself... let me teach you." Alfred pulled the smaller's boxers off roughly, anxious to see his brother fully- he might have lost his chances with that chick but hey, when one door closes another opens; or in this case, Mathieu's legs opening to let Alfred look at him. He covered his face in shame, knowing his body wasn't like his brother's. He yelped at the feeling of teeth on his thigh, trying to sit up and see what was happening before being pushed back down against the bed. "Relax Mattie, I know what I'm doing. Damn, you look good, so fuckin' cute trying to hide..." He hooked an arm around the other's leg, keeping his legs spread and ready. Alfred took his time nipping at the Canadian's thighs, biting down harder the closer he reached his goal. 

"P-papa..." Mathieu moaned, quickly covering his mouth in shame. How could he think about Francis during this, moaning out someone else's name? Suddenly none of that mattered as he cried out from the first lick along his slit. 

"Yeah baby, you can call me papa, whatever gets you off," Alfred praised before lapping at the juices running out of his brother. "God, you're so wet, you like that? Come on Mattie, tell me~" He kissed the folds gently before diving in, sucking generously on his clit in a mock blowjob. Mathieu couldn't help but moan, arching his back as he scrambled to grasp the sheets. "Y-yes! Alfie please, i-it feels so good!" he whined, hiding his face in the pillow, "Papa please..." Alfred gave in, biting at his hips while introducing two fingers, sliding them in with little resistance. Mathieu bit his lip, raising his hips out of need, moaning a little louder each time the fingers thrust deeper.

"Good boy, look how good you're being for me. You feel so tight, it must feel so good.. does it feel good Mattie?" Alfred continued to murmur praises for the younger boy, only slightly distracted by how turned on he was getting himself. As he added a third finger he sat back slightly, only enough to unbuckle and unzip his pants, shoving them down to grab his throbbing erection. "That's a good boy, taking everything I give you... Come on, moan for daddy, tell me how much you like it."

Mathieu looked up at his brother, eyes glazed over from pleasure, small pants escaping his lips. "P-papa... daddy.... please.... don't stop! I-I love it, it feels so good..." he moaned, tangling a hand in his own hair, trying to maintain some composure. Alfred groaned, stroking himself in time with Mathieu, getting off moreso on the power high than his adopted brother. Mathieu's eyes lowered to watch his brother touch himself, biting his lip at the sight; of course his perfect, athletic brother would have a nice dick. Noticing his little brother's interest he smirked, leaning back to give him a better view. He could barely contain himself, only reasoning that there weren't any condoms lying around and he was too involved to go looking for one. 

"You like it? Don't look away baby, you can watch. You want it? You wanna feel it?" At the thought his dick twitched, agreeing with himself as he licked his lips. "God Mattie, don't look at me like that, you're too fuckin' cute.... See what you've done to me? I wanna feel you so bad, you don't know how hard it is to restrain myself.... Feel that? Feel how hard I am for ya? That's a good boy, just like this..." He guided Mathieu's hand to his erection, letting the small hand close around him. He groaned at the feeling of Mattie's inexperienced hand stroking him, trying to figure out how best to please him. "No, not like that, squeeze a little harder.... Good boy, you're such a fast learner.... Fuck baby, your hands are so soft," Alfred crooned, rocking his hips a few times. Mathieu's face was a dark shade of red, embarrassed from all the praises and scared of doing something wrong. 

"A-Alfie please.... I-I'm close, please..." he whispered, pleading with his older brother. Alfred made a quick choice, grinning as he carefully pulled his fingers out coated in his brother's juices. 

"Yeah baby, I've got ya, daddy's gonna make you feel real good" he promised, situating himself back between his brothers legs, wrapping them around his waist to get closer. Grasping his cock with one hand he slid it over Mattie's aching cunt, making sure to rub the head over his clit. "How's this? Gonna let daddy fuck you? That's my Mattie, such a good boy~" He sped his actions up, not wanting to keep him waiting. He stroked himself while rubbing against the hot, wet mess in front of him, careful to not actually thrust inside. Mathieu cried out, hips raising to meet his brother's, body on fire from the stimulation. He reached up towards his brother, clinging to him as he got closer to his breaking point. A rough slap to his ass caused him to arch up, just enough that Alfred slipped inside of him. The older quickly realised his mistake and pulled back, "Shit Mattie I didn't mean to, it's okay just lemme-" Mattie's legs tightened against his back "N-No!" he paused, flushed and panting as he held the other closer. "I-It's okay, don't pull out... i-it f-feels really g-good...." he mumbled into the other's ear, unable to contain himself anymore. "Please Alfie, j-just.... fuck me, daddy..." 

That was all the prompting Alfred needed before snapping his hips forward, filling him to the brim to get the adjustment out of the way as quick as possible. Mathieu hissed from the sharp pain but it didn't last long, Alfred was thrusting into him before he could even recognise the pain. For a time there was only the sound of Mathieu's moans and Alfred's vulgar praises. "Shit Mattie, you're so fucking tight! God, you feel amazing, how am I supposed to fuck that dumb bitch now that I've had this? You're such a little fucktoy aren't you? You like that? Come on, beg for daddy, lemme hear you scream."

Mathieu couldn't help but comply as his brother bit into his neck harshly, growling as he pistoned his hips into his brother, gripping his waist as if his life depended on it. "Fuck baby, I don't know how much longer I can take this, you're too good to me baby boy, that's it, you gonna cum for daddy?" He licked the droplets of blood off of Mattie's neck, moving to leave a matching mark on the other side of his neck. Mathieu was in heaven, clinging to Alfred for dear life when suddenly he hit something that made Mattie scream in pure bliss, walls spasming as he had his first orgasm. Alfred slammed into him as hard as he could, barely pulling out in time to cum on his little brother's stomach, a bit landing on his chest. Mathieu was shaking, legs clenching together as he arched his back in silent bliss, breath coming out in short pants. "A-Alfie~"

Alfred kissed the dark bruises he left on his neck, rubbing his sides "Good boy Mattie, you did so good, you ever need any help just let me know, daddy's always here to help..." He petted the younger's hair soothingly, helping him come down from a mindset he didn't even realise he was in. Once Mattie stopped shaking and relaxed, he lifted him off the bed easily and carried him to the bathroom. He set the younger down in the tub, running a warm bath for him. "Here ya go baby, just relax and get clean, Daddy'll take care of the sheets." He ruffled his hair before walking out. 

It took a bit for Mathieu to come off his high and register what just happened, confusion marking his face as he tried to unpack it all. Did that just happen? Did Alfred really help him get off? Did they really...? The sudden twinge of pain he got from moving told him yes, it all happened. By the time he finished his bath and returned to the bedroom Alfred was back to his old self, playing some first-person shooter game and yelling into his headset. Mathieu slipped into bed, the sheets freshly changed, and laid in the slowly darkening room. He doubted that something like today would ever happen again, but he knew in the back of his mind that something inside of him had awoken, and he could never live without those feelings. From that point he would sometimes become overcome with the urge to be needed by someone in such a way. 

And if Alfred was so open to doing it, well... so might Francis.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo just a heads up, mention of casual drug use in this chapter

Almost two weeks had passed since his first sexual experience and Mathieu was becoming restless. He had tried getting himself off numerous times since then but always unable to cum, lacking the final piece he needed. Yesterday had been his birthday, making him legal to couple with anyone but he was too scared- what if other people didn't accept him as readily as Alfred did? He knew quite well that he wasn't built like other guys, the new binder he received as a gift just one reminder of that fact, and was scared of being so vulnerable and exposed to someone else. By this point however he desperately needed release, enough that he gained the courage to ask Alfred to hang out. The older looked at him for a moment and understood, grinning as he set up plans for the exciting day. "Sure Mattie, come hang with me and my gang." In that way Mathieu found himself standing rigidly by the door of some guy's apartment, watching his brother slap the man's back and laugh as they walked farther in. He glanced around nervously, eyeing each of the men with fear as he tried to blend into the wall- he thought Alfred was going to be kind and spend the day fucking him, not bring him to the bad side of town into the midst of a gang of ruffians. "Matt, come sit with me!"

He jumped at his name, tuning in to the sound of Alfred patting his leg. Quickly making his way over, he went to sit on the cushion next to him but was yanked into the athlete's lap. He tried to get up, rattling off timid excuses before freezing at the look in his brother's eyes, the same look he had seen for the first time _that night_. "I told you to sit, _now_." Alfred commanded, wanting to look good to his friends, watching the frantic nodding that sufficed as a response, "That's a good boy, just chill out." Quiet laughs went around the room along with a joint, the buzz of conversation filling the air. Mathieu, aside from the embarrassment of being talked to in such a dominant way in public, was relieved that the older was picking up that role again- he was scared of new people, especially in a place that felt dangerous like the North side of town, but felt safe in his brother's lap, kept there by a strong arm wrapped around his waist. He nuzzled his head into the tan neck, watching everyone with half-closed eyes. A soft groan escaped his lips as the lightening bruises on his hips pressed into the other's batman belt buckle.

One of the men, a red haired kid with a worn-out leather jacket, addressed the pair: "That your lap dog, Jones?" Sparking a few laughs, Alfred chuckled, rubbing his companion's leg to soothe him. 

"Nah, he's more like a little kitten. What, ya jealous Tommy?"

The room cracked up in laughter, each taking a turn spitting out a different defenseless animal. Lamb, cub, bird, the list went on and on. Finally Tommy shook his head in mock disappointment. "Bringing some random guy with you, but not our friends. Shameful Jones, shameful. Hey, how's Madeline? She was a real cutie, why don't you ever bring her?"

The small body in Alfred's lap froze, clenching his fist in the older's shirt, trembling lightly. Alfred took notice, patting his leg comfortingly as he gauged the situation. "Maddie? Uh.... she's good..."

"Yeah? You haven't brought her around in ages! Bet she looks real nice... wouldn't mind getting my hands on that chick, no offence."

"Yeah, I guess... I'm not really interested in that sort of thing." He replied, looking down at Mathieu warily; he knew this was a sensitive topic, but he didn't expect anyone to actually talk about it. The younger boy had hidden his face in the other's jacket, fighting back tears as he let out a barely audible plea of "Alfie..." Alfred held him closer, glancing around the room to see if anyone noticed. Everyone seemed stuck on the topic of Madeline, leaving some of them with a little too much excitement. An idea struck him, one he had considered earlier.... "Hey, Tommy, looks like you could use some help over there..."

The redhead shot him a challenging look, toothy grin spreading across his face. "Yeah? You gonna suck me off in place of yer sister?" Alfred shook his head, a dark look taking hold in his eyes.

"No, but Matt will."

Mathieu's eyes widened in shock as he was shoved onto the floor, scrambling to hug Alfred's leg for just a piece of safety. Tommy looked at the younger boy being offered to him, eyes wandering over the slightly pudgy form. Not sexy, but cute enough. "He needs some practice anyways, don't you baby?" Alfred continued, running his fingers through the shaggy blond hair. "He's new, and how better to get him introduced to being an adult than to let my friends try him out?" Mathieu felt a jolt of fear run through him, head snapping back to look at his brother as his hair was tugged. "Doesn't that sound fun, Mattie? Didn't I tell you I'd help you learn?" It started to dawn on him that Alfred really had planned to help him out with his "problem".... just this time was going to be a little different.

"Y-Yes daddy..." Mathieu whimpered, tucking his hands modestly between his legs as the grip on his hair loosened. He looked around at the four men in the room, taking a deep breath as he let go of his brother's leg and slowly scooted forward, eyes stopping on Tommy. "I-if you want me to... y-you know.... um, I-I'll try my best?" he squeaked out, internally cringing at how high his voice was, quickly looking down at the floor as he shifted. The most experience he had was letting Alfred play with him, he barely did anything then, how was he supposed to do any of this? Even though he was scared, he couldn't deny that the situation was turning him on. None of them knew who he was or his relation to the American, just that he was there for them to use if they so pleased. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he waited for a response, unable to help himself from cupping himself through his jeans, hoping no one would notice his hands moving.

For a moment, everything was silent- he grew more and more nervous, about to look back at Alfred for help when he heard the clinking of a belt being undone. Mathieu looked up, suddenly eye-level with the cock standing at attention in front of him; it didn't look too much different from Alfred's, just darker with a little barbell piercing on the underside. Staring dumbly at it he scooted forward, gently wrapping his free hand around the shaft as he nervously took the tip into his mouth. It tasted... different. Not bad at all, not amazing either, but something about it just made him hungry for more. Mattie suckled on the head enthusiastically, slowly taking more into his mouth as he started to stroke the hot flesh. With unskilled lips he tried to get used to the feeling of the cock sliding into his mouth, mentally coaxing himself to take more. Tommy rested his hand on the blond's head, pushing it down farther. "Shit man, you didn't teach him? He's so bad at it! No you dumb bitch, don't use yer teeth!" he quipped, grabbing a fistful of hair and yanking the other off his dick.

Mathieu's face was flushed, he tried to catch his breath as he looked up at the man in control. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" he quickly apologised, trying not to melt at the angry look he got. "I-It's just so big it's hard not to..." A whimper escaped his throat as he reflexively squeezed the man's cock gently, desperately looking at him for direction. Tommy couldn't help but grin when he heard the excuse.

"S'that so? Guess you're not used to a real cock, huh?" Mathieu opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by being shoved back down onto the man's dick, the hand in his hair pushing him farther down than he could manage on his own. His eyes fluttered shut as he let the other man control him, the forcefulness of the blowjob sending shivers down his spine as he slipped his hand into his own pants, wasting no time coating his fingers in his own wetness before thrusting two in. A moan was muffled by the throbbing flesh in his mouth, he did his best to try and suck on his way up, running his tongue along the side of it. "Yeah, that's better!" The redhead let out a groan, laughing as he let the teen do it himself, looking down at him with lust-shaded eyes. Mathieu was in heaven, whimpering as his head was held in place, Tommy's hips rutted into his mouth before he came, letting out a deep moan. "Shit... he's a fast learner, Jones."

Mathieu swallowed the sticky fluid happily, pulling back and licking his lips. A dreamy smile plastered his face as he looked up at the man he had previously eyed with caution. "Thank- ah, nn, thank you!" he moaned out, hips rocking into his hand as he pleasured himself, barely giving a second thought to the other guys approaching him, only tuning back in when he felt one of them move his hand onto their own erection. He looked up at them with a smile, setting to work stroking while he turned to lick Tommy's half-hard member hungrily, hoping he'd be treated to another round.

Time seemed to speed up beyond measurement as the group found their rhythm: Mathieu found himself on his knees, pants shoved down his thighs just enough for Alfred to take him from behind, not wanting to expose his secret to anyone else; he sucked languorously at one man's cock while he jacked off Tommy and the other one he hadn't bothered to learn the name of- he didn't have time for names when it got like this, as long as he had a clean dick Mattie couldn't care less right then. The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, the groaned praises of the men, and Mathieu's own wanton moans. At the pinnacle moment he took all of the nameless man's length into his mouth, nose pressed against bone as he swallowed everything given to him, pulling away with his prize of delicious cum. "Open wide~" Mathieu did as he was instructed, opening his mouth to catch the cum of the guys he had jacked off, some splattering against his face as he convulsed around Alfred who pulled out, stroking himself as he yanked his little brother's head towards him.

"Drink up baby~" he moaned, shooting his load all over the soft face he knew so well. Mathieu whined, wiping thick globs of cum off his face only to lap it off his hands, drunk off the feeling of being used.

"Thank you for teaching me."

It was dark, the light of the full moon shining through the open window and illuminating the dark room. Mathieu was curled up under the covers, unable to sleep as he thought of what had happened earlier that day. Was it really okay to do these things? Could he act like this, expose his feelings to others? Each time he'd experienced sex, it was just for fun, out of lust and need which his brother had readily helped him with, but was it really okay? What if he never found love because of this? He rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. "Al...? Alfie, are you awake?" he asked suddenly, getting a groan of annoyance in response. "Sorry, I can't sleep... I don't know, I just can't stop thinking..." his voice wavered and he bit his lip to repress a sob. The room was silent for a few minutes, only the sound of blankets rustling being heard.

Alfred sat up, propping himself on an arm as he looked blindly over at where the other's bed would be. "You wanna talk man?" he mumbled, prepared for a long night of listening to the other cry and ask for advice.

"No, I'm okay, sorry I woke you up" Mathieu replied almost too cheerfully, hugging his pillow. The older shrugged, laying back down as he gratefully fell asleep. Mathieu sighed, burying his face into the pillow as he tried to sleep. Things would get better with time.

**Author's Note:**

> This part was originally written at the beginning of 2016.


End file.
